We Are Golden
by EmmyRose92
Summary: Sequal to Those Blood Red Eyes :  this story follows Bella and Edward as they struggle to adapt to being back together, and Bella has to face her inner demons before she can move on with her life after the cruel events of BRE. EXB
1. Chapter 1

_I felt the cold water lapping against my icy skin as I waded across the river. Although it wasn't chilling as it would have been if I was human, I could still feel it dropping my temperature slightly. _

"_Hurry up Isabella, this pace is getting stupid. We will never catch him at this rate." _

_I grunted at the man in front of me, too lost in my own thoughts to focus on what he was saying. I kept up my slow wading, coming gradually closer to the island in the middle of the lake where the rogue was hiding from its hunters._

_Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder, pushing me forward and almost causing me to trip in to the murky water. Looking around I saw Eliza, one of the guard, snarling down at me. _

"_This isn't the time for any of your pathetic self-pity. We have a job to do, and I am not going to be the one to tell Aro that we messed up." _

_I should have retaliated, but I simply didn't have the heart. I sped up my movements, taking up a much more acceptable speed. Within 5 minutes we reached the island and shed our wet clothes, putting on the dark tracksuits that we had been carrying over our heads. Wet clothes would make our movements more laboured, and easier to hear. _

_Crouching down in the undergrowth, we crept forward, our eyes darting, watching for the rogue. He had been on a killing spree in a nearby village, and had been seen by a group of women. The Volturi had decided that he was not to survive. _

_It wasn't the first time that I had been on this kind of mission, but in my present state of mind I was strangely detached from what was happening around me. My mind kept drifting back to Edward, who I had talked to on the phone last night. It would be a whole year before I heard his voice again, and it would be another 2 before I could see him again. It broke my heart to even think about it. _

_The snap of a twig to my left startled me out of my thoughts, and I instantly kicked in to action. Sprinting to the left I jumped on the rogue, pulling him down to the ground. He was too slow for me. The rest of the hunting party gathered around me as I tuned out the rogues begging. I had heard it all before, and it hardly registered any more. If I had believed that he wasn't guilty then I would have paid more attention to him, but I had heard his story. He was a cold blooded human killer, he deserved to die. _

_In one quick motion I placed my teeth on his neck and ripped. His final scream rang out, followed by a thump as I dumped his body on the floor, ready for someone to set it on fire. Walking away, I ignored the shouts of Eliza. _

"_Isabella you get back here!" _

_I had almost reached the shoreline by the time she came running up behind me. Obviously she had wanted to oversea the burning of the rogue. _

_Catching me by surprise, Eliza grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me to rocky floor. _

"_Dammit Isabella, we almost lost him because of you. Your head is up in the clouds, and it bloody well shouldn't be. The Cullens don't want you; they have left you here to serve us." _

_Growling, I flipped on to my back and kicked up at her, catching her off guard._

"_You have no idea what you are talking about, leave me alone." _

"_Oo have I caught a nerve, Swan? Don't want to think about your so called family and your distant lover? I bet he has found someone else in your absence. You're nothing special, there is no way he would wait for you. He's probably out there right now shagging another pretty little human that he will promise the world to, and then abandon her just like he has done to you."_

_I lost it. A crazed scream left my throat as I lunged at her, my teeth bared. Just as I was ready to destroy her, the rest of the group ran through the trees, pulling me off her and allowing the evil woman to get to her feet and smile smugly at me. _

"_You're spineless and pathetic Swan. You don't deserve to wear the red of the Volturi." she spat in my face, her venom stinging my eyes as I growled at her. "Make sure she is punished for her disobedience." _

_The two vampires who were holding my arms kicked in to action, swiftly pulling on my arms so they dislocated at the shoulder, causing a scream to rip from my throat. Pushing me to the ground they kicked and scratched at my body, making sure to make new wounds whenever the old ones healed over. The pain was almost refreshing as I thought of Edward. At least if I was in pain I was alive. And if I was alive, eventually I would get back to him. _

_I zoned out slightly as it continued, hardly noticing as they dragged me towards the water's edge. Suddenly I couldn't breathe as my face was pushing in to the lake, my vision clouded by all the sediment. Although I could live without the air, it was uncomfortable, and I could feel my long dead lungs filling with the grotesque liquid. I coughed underwater, a deep burning starting in my chest. Quickly resigning myself to the pain, I gave up and thought of Edward. My Edward, my love._

"Love? Bella, love can you hear me?"

I could feel someone shaking me as the pain on my lungs suddenly lessened. I opened my eyes and was surprised not to be surrounded by the murky water, but by bright light instead. Quickly my eyes came in to focus, and my gaze fixed on Edwards face in front of me.

"Bella? Are you there, My Bella?"

Relief flooded through me as I looked upon his face. He was here, he was with me, and I didn't have to fear anything or anyone anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Hi everybody, thank you for reading my sequal :) I am sorry to say that I am struggleing with this story a bit at the moment, but I shall continue to try and write. Therefore I apologuise in advance for any mistakes, or seemingly pointless dialogue. I am just trying to get my MoJo back :P enjoy x**

"Bella, are you back with me baby?"

I looked down at my love, still seeing the painful residue of fear in her deep red eyes. For the last hour I had been subjected to her cries, trying to shake her out of her trance, but she couldn't hear me. It was like when Alice had a vision, her eyes blank. I had tried to get in to her mind, but her shield was stronger than ever.

"Edward…I'm sorry…I don't know what happened…"

I pulled her closer in to my arms, kissing her hair as I rocked her slowly like I would have done when she was human as her sobs overtook her. My heart ached as I watched her cry. Whatever memory she had relived must have been awful for her.

"Bella, will you tell me what you saw?"

Her gaze flicked to mine suddenly, her eyes finally meeting mine. I struggled not to flinch at their deep red colour, but I failed to hide my instinctual reaction. Her expression fell even more in to despair as she pulled away from me, moving to stand up and walk out, but I quickly pulled her back. When she spoke, her voice was devoid of all emotion, a tone I'm sure she had been practicing during her time with the Volturi.

"Edward, please let me go."

"I can't do that love. Please, sit and talk to me."

"Edward I can't…" the emotion started to seep back in to her voice as she evaded my gaze. "You can't even stand to look at me…I'm a monster…"

"Bella look at me." Once more refused, her stubborn streak shining through. "Isabella Cullen, look at me!"

The anger in my voice must have surprised her, for she looked at me then, gazing deep in to me.

"I love you Isabella. Nothing you do or have done is going to change that. I have missed you so much these last few years, please, don't pull away from me now that we are finally back together. Talk to me Bella, tell me about all the horrible things and let me help you. Let me sooth you and make all the pain go away. Please, my Bella, I love you so much, I can't just sit and watch you do this to yourself."

"Edward I'm trying! But you have no idea what it has been like for me, you can't just expect me to bounce back and be all happy families!" I recoiled slightly at her anger, but knew I had to persist. I couldn't let her go on thinking like this.

"I know it has been awful for you, but it doesn't have to be like that anymore. You can put it behind you and think about our future! You never have to feel that kind of pain again Bella, ever. It's all done. Aro can't get you anymore."

"He will always be able to get me, Edward. Every time I close my eyes, or let my mind wander, he is there. He will never leave me; those memories will never leave me."

She moved to get away from me again, and this time I let her. My heart broke once more as I watched her walk away, but I knew that if I pushed her she would pull further away still. Just as she reached the door she turned back to me.

"I'm sorry Edward, I'm going hunting, I will be back soon."

"Bella you can't…"

She sighed slightly, hanging her head as she also remembered.

"Oh yeah…" Carlisle had forbidden her from hunting alone, as she was still struggling slightly with the transfer back to animal blood.

"I can ask Alice and Emmett to go with you?" she looked up at me, a slight smile on her lips.

"Thank you." The anger had left her voice, and so I risked walking up to her and kissing her forehead lightly before leading her downstairs to find Emmett. I could already hear Alice bounding down from her room above us, more serenely followed by Jasper. Within seconds, Alice was flitting past us, already nattering to Bella at a pace I could hardly follow. Picking up Emmett from the lounge on the way, the three left the house without so much as a backwards glance from Bella.

I trudged back in to the lounge room, and flopped in to one of the love seats, placing my head in my hands. The last week had been a mix of arguments and sweet love making. I wanted so much to make things right with Bella, to make it perfect, back to how it used to be, but she wasn't making it easy. It was difficult to tell which mood she would appear in, as it seemed like two people inhabited my loves body.

I heard Jasper coming up behind me, and shifted along the seat knowing he would want to sit down.

_She loves you so much Edward._

I looked up at him, the pain obvious in my eyes.

"I know. I just can't stand to see her like this. One moment she is the girl I fell in love with, and then she falls in to this hole that I can't help her get out of. How to I help her Jasper? What can I do?"

_You have to let her deal with this in the way that she wants. She is going to have some issues Edward, we all knew that. But she has to know that you are there for her. Just sit with her and make sure that she knows you aren't going to leave her. She needs you Edward, more than she knows. _

"Why won't she admit it then? Why is she pushing me away?"

_She is scared Edward. She's had an awful few years, and she needs to readapt to being happy again. You aren't going to lose her, she loves you. _

He patted my arm briefly and then got up to turn on the TV, sensing my need to change the subject. We blindly watched some channel that I wasn't really paying attention to. I tried not to let my thoughts wander, but I was hardly successful.

Two hours passed before we heard the approach of flying footsteps.

_She seems to be in a better mood now, I will make sure everyone leaves you alone to talk, especially Alice. _

I nodded to him in appreciation just as the front door opened and the hunters came barrelling in.

"Careful of the furniture!" came Esmes shout from upstairs as they crashed to a halt, all laughing. Bella's face was alight with laughter, her eyes truly dancing for the first time since we had returned. Jealousy flickered through me as I saw her smile being directed at Emmett.

Alice giggled, placing her arm around Bella.

"I think Bella definitely won that one"

"No fair! She had an unfair advantage!"

I flinched slightly, hoping that Bella wouldn't take that the wrong way.

"You're just jealous of my skills Emmett, admit it." She punched him lightly, laughing as her gazed turned to me. Her eyes softened slightly as she took me in.

"Hey" it was almost a whisper as she raised a hand in a little wave. Smiling, I waved back, hoping that she would walk over. I was almost surprised when she did. My gaze was fixed on her, but I sensed Jasper Alice and Emmett leaving us alone.

"How was hunting? You look like you had fun."

"Yeah it was good to relax a little, I feel better now."

"That's good, I'm glad"

We fell in to a slightly awkward silence, the first of our long relationship. I hung my head. I seemed to have bought her out of her good mood. Maybe Jasper was wrong and she had fallen out of love with me. 4 years was a long time, and it would be understandable if she had found she was better off without me.

I was bought out of my misery by the feeling of her hand on mine. I looked up to see her standing much closer to me than she had been before.

**BPOV**

I hated to see Edward looking so sad, and I wanted to change that. Stepping closer to him, I placed my hand in his, watching his face as he gazed up at me. Leaning in I placed a gently kiss on his lips, feeling him sigh against me slightly. After all this time, the smallest of kisses made us both a little bit weak.

"Come upstairs with me?" I could hear the plea in my own voice, and I hoped he could hear it to? I was desperate to be completely connected to him. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then a sad smile formed on his perfect mouth.

"Bella, we shouldn't."

"What?" immediately I pulled away from him slightly, shocked, "Why not?"

"Shh my Bella." He brought me back tight against him, surrounding me in the embrace that I couldn't help but feel comforted by. "We shall go upstairs, and we shall sit on the bed and talk. There is so much that has to be said, and we cannot hide from it anymore. And once we have talked, I will make sweet love to you long in to the night."

I knew that at some point we would have to have a conversation about my time in Volterra, and the flashbacks that I had been having in the last few days, but I was scared of what the conversations might bring.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry that it has been so long! I just haven't really known where to go with this story. I am aiming to write a couple of filler chapters this week or so, and see if a plot comes to me, and if it doesn't I shall have to abandon ship I am afraid. Thank you for your continuing patience, I hope the wait will be worth it :D **

Bella POV

I kissed him furiously, hoping to distract him completely. He groaned in to my mouth, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer to him for just a split second before he pushed me backwards on to the bed. I purred slightly, my eyes closed as I waited for his perfect weight to fall on me. But it never did.

Opening my eyes, I saw him standing over me, lust in his eyes, but also pain.

"That wont solve this Bella. I'm sorry."

I giggled slightly, running my hands up my stomach and cupping my breasts through the thin material of the tank top I had hunted in.

"You didn't seem to mind last night." I knew I was acting like some kind of wanton slut, but I needed him with me. Now. I just had to distract him enough.

"God Bella!"

Within a second he was on top of me, my wrists pinned above my head. I raised my hips against his, feeling his hard on, but I knew from his face that he was restraining me for a different reason. He wasn't going to be distracted.

"Isabella, do not get me wrong, there is nothing sexier in this world than you running your hands along your body, and I wish I could just give in and take you right now, but it will not solve anything. I cannot keep letting you do this to yourself. You are pulling away from me, and I refuse to lose you again. Don't make me."

By the end of his speech, he sounded furious, and scared. I looked down, avoiding his eyes and softening my posture. I felt him relax slightly on top of me, and loosen his grip on my wrists so that I could wrap my arms around his neck, running my fingers through the base of his hair, trying to calm myself as well as him.

I didn't want to discuss this with him, I didn't want him to realise all of my flaws. He had told me multiple times since I had arrived home that he did not think any less of me, and even since my revelation about the number of people I had killed, he had not turned against me. He still showed me all the love and passion that we had developed over the years. And sometimes, I was able to return it. But at times I hated myself so much I just wanted to curl up in to a ball and cry myself to sleep, but I was not allowed that peace.

I remembered back to the first night we had spent at home together. We had spent hours with the family and the wolf pack, holding each other the entire time, talking about small things, avoiding the big subjects. Eventually we had retired to our bed, and slowly undressed each other, reveling in each others bodies. There had been no time to talk, only desperate passion. And so it had become routine. We would avoid the subject all day, and then distract ourselves from it all night. The few times we had tried to address it, like after the wolves had left a few days ago, we had ended up arguing, snapping at each other, and then falling in to bed. Edward was right, something had to give, and soon, or the hatred would start.

"I don't know what to say." I could hear the fear in my own voice.

"Then don't say anything."

He kissed my forehead, and ran two fingers across my temple, the old signal we had used for when he wanted access to my mind. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be fully open to him, but I knew if I didn't he would immediately suspect the worst. Because I would if he was hiding such things from me.

I slipped my bubble around him with ease, having used my shield so much in the last few years. Even the skills that I had once found tricky now came as second nature.

_I still don't really know what to think. _

His hands moved soothingly across my back, the warmth from them making every nerve in my body stand on end. I loved the way my body reacted to him.

**EPOV**

I knew she was scared of talking to me, but I didn't want to be in the dark anymore. I wanted to know what she had gone through, and how it had effected her. I just wanted to be able to understand, so that I could help her.

_Why don't you tell me about Allegra. She seemed so sweet, I liked her._

Eventually she relaxed against me and let her mind wander to the first time she met Legs, the many times they had sat talking together, and the missions that they had been sent on at the beginning of her imprisonment. Slowly her stories became darker, and I saw many of the reasons flash through her mind as to why she didn't want me to know these things. I tried to sooth her with calming thoughts, whispering words of love in to her mind, and pressing kisses along her forehead. Eventually she opened up completely, her thoughts gushing as she thought of all the people she killed, her sobs making both her body and my own shake with grief. All the walls came down, and I knew we were going to be ok.


End file.
